In Defense of Working Parents...From a Stay at Home Mom

Testing, testing...is this blog still on? :)

Hi LWGers! I miss you all! In fact, I really miss blogging in general. It is hard work keeping up with a mobile (read: nearly walking and getting into EVERYTHING) baby.

This cute little face definitely eats into my blogging time. Get it? Eats in? Oh, I kill me.

How is everyone doing, both financially and personally in this new year?

I know I don't blog as much as I would like, but I actually did over on my mom blog, Mama Mahvelous, and it combines both my love of personal finance and talking about parenthood, so I figured I'd pass it along.

You are probably aware that after careful consideration and over a year of saving, I made the decision to stay at home with my beloved Baby C. After a few months, I realized it looked nothing like any of the "Real Housewives" life (I mean, seriously - how did they come up with that title?!) and it was very hard and demanding work. I came across this article that tries to put a monetary value on the duties of a stay at home parent, and it equals a salary to more than $96,000 per year. But even as a stay at home parent, I felt a little conflicted. Are my skills really up to par with a counselor, a professional chef, a housekeeper, and a nurse? Outside of my own head, probably not. What about the parents that work full-time and still come home to a house that needs to be cleaned, dinner that needs to be made and laundry that needs to be folded? Anyway, it's a subject that I find fascinating - trying to assign a salary to a parent who stays home. To me, it's a priceless opportunity and I truly cherish being home, even when I have bad days. I'm heading back to school in August, so my time is limited and I'm squeezing it for all it's worth.

Read more over here.

But what do you think? Do you think you could (or should) put a salary on being a stay at home parent? Or do you think people are just trying to feel valued in a society that is career oriented?

The Decision to Stay at Home

As soon as we found out we were expecting, the very next conversation my husband and I had was how we planned to raise our child. Was I going to stay home or go back to work? (Note: it's not that we automatically jumped to me staying at home because I was a woman...my husband makes considerably more than I do, so it makes the most financial sense).

After looking at the costs of daycare and calculating what pay I would take home after childcare was paid for, I would net less than $500 every month. From that, subtract a car payment and weekly fillups at the pump, and I'm barely making enough to go to the grocery store twice a month. It didn't seem worth it to me when I feel like we can budget better in other places. We made the decision for me to stay home.

So how did we do this, and how will we survive in the future?

1) Practiced with one paycheck. My husband and I thought this might be a possibility when we found out I was pregnant, so we practiced living on one income. My entire paycheck for 10 months went into savings. Not only did we get the hang of what it would be like living on a single salary, but we bumped up our emergency fund, created a medical savings account, started a savings account for our daughter, and even fully funded a future vacation (Maui in November!). It took a little getting used

2) We are a one car family now. Even though my husband's main mode of transportation is the bus, he had an SUV that barely had any miles and came with a large car payment. My small commuter car wasn't conducive to our new lifestyle with baby and all the stuff that goes with her. So we traded both in for a Subaru Outback! Not only does this cut our car payments in half, but it decreases auto insurance, service and maintenance, and all of the other expenses that creep up when you have a car.

3) Cutting other incidental costs. Some spending naturally goes down when you have a baby - entertainment (unless you want to pay a babysitter, and then the cost doubles!), nice meals out, shopping for yourself. We're taking a hard look at cutting cable (mentioned here), and being smarter about every day choices.

I have no doubt that it's a little more unstable only having one income, particularly in this still shaky economy. But I think we're prepared for most worst-case scenarios. The only thing that is difficult about this for me is not being able to contribute to my retirement fund for a few years and getting used to not having my own spending money.

One interesting tidbit from Salary.com - the stay-at-home mom's regular duties add up to being worth over $115,000 a year! While you get no vacation days or pension plan, the benefits are pretty hard to top.

Any other families who grappled with this decision? What did you ultimately decide and why? Does anyone else have other suggestions or tips?

Not Going Broke 9-5

Work is a major money suck for me. When you think about how much time you spend at work, it's no surprise - eating at least one meal, maybe some snacks or after-work drinks...it definitely all starts to add up. I've gotten better more recently, but I used to go out for lunch at least twice a week, and I'd get a latte almost every single morning. I probably spent at least $30 extra dollars a week, or $120 a month! That's half my car payment on stuff that I could probably do for much cheaper. Here are some things I'm starting to incorporate in my routine to stop bleeding money instead of making it:

SNACKS

*I use snack time as a quick break for me, and nothing feels more luxurious than going for a quick walk or drive (or maybe down some stairs if you are lucky enough to have a cafe on site) to get a coffee. The soothing music, the change of scenary, the wasted $15 every week...oh wait! Bring your coffee from home and pack your shoes to go for a walk instead on your breaks. That will rejuvenate you so much more than sitting in a stuffed chair drinking your latte. It's also better for you and your budget!

*Keep snacks on hand - when you're hungry, it's easy to run and raid the vending machine, and most likely, it would not be something good for you (I'm totally guilty of getting two packages of Reese's Cups - the peanut butter has protein, duh!) and you'll probably pay a premium for them. Try shopping the bulk bins in your grocery store for oatmeal, nuts, or dried fruit. These are great and easy things to keep in your desk that don't require refrigeration, are easy to eat and are healthy!

*Eat popcorn. Popcorn is a great snack that's quick and somewhat portable. If you don't put loads of butter and salt on it, it can also be quite healthy. You can get a box of microwavable popcorn for a couple of bucks, or you can make your own in a lunch sack! Here's a great recipe from Alton Brown at Food Network that would be super cheap and easy to make. You could also find an air popper and put it on your desk if you wanted to make your office mates envious. You can find them reasonably priced ($15-$20 at Target) or scope out Craig's List.

*Pencil in snacking - the more you snack and keep the stomach grumbling at bay, the more likely you will be to eat a normal-sized lunch and avoid dialing your favorite Thai takeout and getting the extra large Phad Thai (not that I've done that before or anything...). I don't know about you but I usually make irrational decisions when I'm famished which could be bad for my budget, waistline, AND my job! No bueno.

MEALS

*Clearly, you know bringing lunch to work is going to save you a ton over going out every afternoon (by most accounts at least $20/week) Check out our previous post on ways to spice up your lunch box if you're having trouble breaking out of the PBJ rut. Not that there's anything wrong with that....

*Hot pot it up! A hot pot was my go-to tool in my tiny dorm room. For those of you who don't know the joy of a hot pot, it's basically a kettle of sorts. They are electric (some are cordless) and you can heat just about any liquid up even faster than microwaves. It is a great option and makes bringing soup for lunch a little more desirable than just getting a can of Campbell's and nuking it. I like this Rival hot pot at Target - 32 oz, temperature controls, and under $15!

*If you're going out to dinner with your work buddies, try leaving a little early to score a nearby happy hour. Drinks and appetizers will be much cheaper, and if this is a work expense, your boss will be stoked for a smaller tab. To save even more, try checking out Groupon or other coupon sites and keep an eye out for restaurants or bars near your workplace.

How do you keep spending in check when you're working? I'd love to hear ideas of how you all keep your budget in check at work, especially when it comes to brown-bag ideas!